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Read Rob Ryan’s lips

6 Things that Prove the Saints Were Better than You Think vs the Vikings

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Rob Ryan’s defense has gotten so normal and boring that it’s weird.
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GIF Study: Saints Week 1 Offense and Puppies

While Bradley is off exploring the land of Mordor (also called Saints defense), I figured I’d perform a little cosmic balancing and bring you the bright half of the Saints’ week 1 loss against Atlanta: the offense. And because this is the internet and Bradley is awful depressing this week, I’m going to throw in some puppies to help get you in a safe headspace.

Jimmy Graham:

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GIF Study: How the Falcons Torched the Saints

We know how you feel, Marques.

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Why Roger Goodell Must Resign

The National Football League, at this point in American history, has outgrown its former role as sports league, outgrown even its role as mega-profitable (yet somehow non-profit) corporation; rather, the NFL has become a landmark American cultural institution, with an ever-intensifying emotional hook into our collective psyche. That makes it, basically, a mirror of our culture, and so we feel some sense of national responsibility for what that mirror reflects.

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LOL okay
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How the SEC Destroyed Southern Miss — and Could Kill Football
Ask the old-timers, and they’ll tell you about the wins over top ten TCU and Houston teams, or about the long-ago 58-14 mollywhopping of Florida State, but their faces really light up when they start talking about beating Alabama, or Ole Miss, or Mississippi State, or LSU, or Auburn. So then you know what matters to old Southern Miss fans, and you understand why a university so used to winning in the shadow of the Southeastern Conference could think it was a good idea to hire a twice-failed aging dinosaur of an assistant: SEC people said it was a good idea.
The Ellis Johnson post-mortem is stunning not just because he inherited a 12-2, top 20 program and immediately went 0-12 with it, but also because that winless 2012 result was the program’s first losing season of any sort in two decades, and only its sixth in the seventy-five years since the arrival of Reed Green, its first great head coach. When Southern Miss went 1-11 in 2013, after firing Johnson and replacing him with Todd Monken, it completed its first back to back losing seasons since 1933 and 1934; the one win was its lowest two-season victory total in all 101 of its years. To open this year, Southern Miss lost, 49-0, to Mississippi State, against whom the Golden Eagles have an all-time winning record; it was the first time State had pitched a shutout in the rivalry since the first edition of the game in 1935, when Southern Miss was called State Teachers College.
The football program at the University of Southern Mississippi is at death’s door for the only time in its history, with only faint signs of potential resuscitation visible to people like me, who care enough to look. The story of how it got to this point is a cautionary tale not just for those who love the historically resource-strapped yet successful program, but also for those who love American football, despite all its flaws. Football’s greatest threat is the existential crisis posed by sub-concussive brain injuries, but the kind of thinking that pushed my alma mater into a bizarre dystopia is hastening the onset of a concurrent apocalypse that nobody sees coming.

Basically, the SEC is going to kill football.
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How the SEC Destroyed Southern Miss — and Could Kill Football

Ask the old-timers, and they’ll tell you about the wins over top ten TCU and Houston teams, or about the long-ago 58-14 mollywhopping of Florida State, but their faces really light up when they start talking about beating Alabama, or Ole Miss, or Mississippi State, or LSU, or Auburn. So then you know what matters to old Southern Miss fans, and you understand why a university so used to winning in the shadow of the Southeastern Conference could think it was a good idea to hire a twice-failed aging dinosaur of an assistant: SEC people said it was a good idea.

The Ellis Johnson post-mortem is stunning not just because he inherited a 12-2, top 20 program and immediately went 0-12 with it, but also because that winless 2012 result was the program’s first losing season of any sort in two decades, and only its sixth in the seventy-five years since the arrival of Reed Green, its first great head coach. When Southern Miss went 1-11 in 2013, after firing Johnson and replacing him with Todd Monken, it completed its first back to back losing seasons since 1933 and 1934; the one win was its lowest two-season victory total in all 101 of its years. To open this year, Southern Miss lost, 49-0, to Mississippi State, against whom the Golden Eagles have an all-time winning record; it was the first time State had pitched a shutout in the rivalry since the first edition of the game in 1935, when Southern Miss was called State Teachers College.

The football program at the University of Southern Mississippi is at death’s door for the only time in its history, with only faint signs of potential resuscitation visible to people like me, who care enough to look. The story of how it got to this point is a cautionary tale not just for those who love the historically resource-strapped yet successful program, but also for those who love American football, despite all its flaws. Football’s greatest threat is the existential crisis posed by sub-concussive brain injuries, but the kind of thinking that pushed my alma mater into a bizarre dystopia is hastening the onset of a concurrent apocalypse that nobody sees coming.

Basically, the SEC is going to kill football.

Read more

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Here is Matt Ryan falling down because it is funny

That’s not even the best excuse to laugh at the Falcons, though.

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The greatest mascot photo ever and more on why the Southern Miss vs Mississippi State game today is awesome.
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Season previews in their usual form are a waste of time. Look at the MMQB Saints preview as an example: It’s speculation based on mostly-truths and mediocre opinions smoothly packaged under a respected brand.1 One goal of ours at B&G is to base our preseason speculation on funny attempts to quantify unquantifiable football things, so that, when we’re wrong, we can blame the stats we just invented.
For 2014, I have probably the worst predictive statistic ever. I also think I believe in it. Ryan and I call it ODR. I decided just now to pronounce it “Hodor.”

Season previews in their usual form are a waste of time. Look at the MMQB Saints preview as an example: It’s speculation based on mostly-truths and mediocre opinions smoothly packaged under a respected brand.1 One goal of ours at B&G is to base our preseason speculation on funny attempts to quantify unquantifiable football things, so that, when we’re wrong, we can blame the stats we just invented.

For 2014, I have probably the worst predictive statistic ever. I also think I believe in it. Ryan and I call it ODR. I decided just now to pronounce it “Hodor.”

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The Art of Choosing a Saints Jersey, 2014 — Summer Blockbusters Edition
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Patrick Robinson, you might be our only hope.
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"But a bigger part of it is just laziness — bad writing, bad form, an emphasis on controversy over writing talent, or more accurately the inclination to use talent. A lot of the major sports columnists of the moment are just bad writers who bring other lucrative skills to the great page view feeding frenzy. But as many are actually good writers who choose not to write good things, because the easy way is easier."

Jimmy Graham, Bad Sportswriting, and Immaturity